Archive for the ‘Opinions’ Category

Stop saying this to single people

Posted: July 29, 2019 in General, Opinions
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single_peopleYou might have the best intentions when speaking to people about their single lives. But certain things you say can annoy or even hurt them. So for the sake of your single friends and loved ones, here are things you need to stop saying to single people, coming from one.

“How are you still single?”

This question is often meant as a compliment when you can’t understand why your attractive, smart, and funny friend hasn’t found someone yet. But it also implies that no normal person should still be single after all this time. And it forces single people to justify why they are not in relationships.

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single_happyScientific research has shown there are numerous physical and mental benefits to being single. But some people still find the idea terrifying.  I notice that many people are afraid of being alone. There are many people who feel like this they are hardly afraid of anything more than being alone, like it’s the worst case that could ever happen.

Some people jump from relationship to relationship because they are hooked on the pleasant feelings they get from the attention, but this means they are also at a greater risk of falling for someone toxic. This is because being with someone who is wrong for them is better than being alone.

 
I know people who have never been single in their life. And if you think about it, it’s a weird fear, you know, I think if you are alone, if you are single, it is a good opportunity to get to know yourself and learn to love yourself more. If you get all of your self-confidence and self-worth from what someone else is telling you, you’ll become dependent on it.
For example, it’s wonderful to hear that you’re lovable, beautiful, and amazing, but if you’re not telling yourself the same thing, you’re only getting validation from outside. Then if your partner cheats on you, leaves you for someone else, or even dies, this stream of validation disappears. 
You will feel like you’re in withdrawal and this is a bad feeling, But this is not because being alone is so bad, it’s because you are dependent on the validation of the person in the first place.

 
If you approach relationships in this way looking to replace the feelings of validation you lost from a former partner with a new one – you’re more likely to feel animosity about your exes. These will be people who don’t talk to their ex-boyfriends or girlfriends, They remove them, they’re dismissed, It’s like getting the new fix. It’s very hard to break this toxic cycle, but it can be done by embracing being single when the chance comes around. This is because developing emotional independence will actually help you become more emotionally stable.

If you understand yourself first of all, you will be able to understand others much more. You’ll know about your needs and your expectations, and you will understand why certain people act the way they do.
Learning about yourself will also help you in the future when you do find the right person. You’ll realize that relationships are about giving, not receiving, and you’ll feel more confident because you know you can overcome it if the relationship doesn’t work out.

 
"I believe I’m strong enough to handle it, so I take a higher risk in the relationship at the end,"
Imagine two people who love themselves and love each other dearly, who just give love to each other instead of asking for it. It’s a beautiful relationship, and this is what a healthy relationship is.


social_securityWaiting to file for benefits isn’t always the best option
There’s arguably no decision that’s more important for seniors than deciding when to take Social Security benefits. After all, more than 3 out of 5 aged beneficiaries today is reliant on Social Security for at least half of their monthly income.
But deciding when to take benefits isn’t as cut-and-dried as you might think.
Ideally, retired workers who’ve earned the prerequisite 40 lifetime work credits needed to qualify for benefits will wait until age 70 before claiming their payout. The reason is simple: Though workers qualify to begin receiving a benefit as early as age 62, their payout will grow by approximately 8% for each year they hold off on their claim, up until age 70. All factors considered (length of work history, earnings history, and birth year), waiting until age 70 is the way to maximize your monthly Social Security check.
However, waiting doesn’t always make sense. For some people, claiming early, despite the permanent reduction to their monthly check, can lead to a higher lifetime payout than if they were to wait. And the key to success with Social Security is to maximize what you receive over your lifetime, not just per month.
With this in mind, here are seven good reasons claiming Social Security early might make sense.
1. You don’t believe you’ll reach the average life expectancy
Among the many factors to be considered when deciding the right claiming age is your health. 
Imagine for a moment that we had two identical people with the exact same work history, earnings history, and birth year. One claimed their benefit as early as possible at age 62, and the other waited until age 70. Though the one who waited receives a higher monthly payout, the person filing early receives a reduced payout, but for eight years prior to the 70-year-old netting his or her first check. 
Now, imagine we examined the aggregate payout of these two identical individuals over time. What we’d see is that their lifetime payouts from Social Security would be about equal when they reached their late 70s  which is right where the average American life expectancy sits at the moment. 
Therefore, if you have a chronic health condition that could shorten your life expectancy, or if anyone in your immediate family has passed away before reaching the average life expectancy in the U.S. of just under 79 years, then claiming your benefit early might be a smart way to maximize what you’ll be paid over your lifetime.
2. You expect Social Security to play no role in your ability to make ends meet
Another reason claiming Social Security early might make sense is if you’ve done a good job of saving for retirement and you don’t need the income provided by the program to make ends meet. 
Today’s statistics are pretty glaring. According to an April 2018 Gallup poll, 90% of existing retirees are in some capacity reliant on their Social Security income to make ends meet. Meanwhile, a Gallup survey among nonretirees found that a combined 84% expect to lean on the program in some capacity when they retire. This suggests that only around 1 out of 10 working Americans will save enough over his or her lifetime to not need a dime from Social Security.
Should you be among this minority, claiming your benefits early may offer two benefits. First, it could provide icing-on-the-cake income that allows you to vacation or take up hobbies. 
Secondly, by claiming early and reducing your monthly payout, you might, to some small degree, lower your annual federal (and possibly state) income tax bill. 
3. You have no other sources of income or limited earning capacity
Sometimes we may have little choice but to claim Social Security benefits early. For example, if you’re out of work and have no other sources of income, or for whatever reason your earning capacity is limited, it might be in your best interest to claim Social Security benefits early and secure an income stream that’ll allow you to pay your bills. 
However, there is a Social Security do-over clause that seniors (especially baby boomers) who’ve struggled to find work should be aware of. Known as Form SSA-521 (officially, Request for Withdrawal of Application), this request allows an individuals’ benefits claim to be undone if submitted within 12 months of first receiving their entitlement. The catch is that you’ll need to repay every cent you’ve received from the Social Security Administration, and, as noted, you only have 12 months to submit your request once you begin receiving benefits. 
The beauty of Form SSA-521 is that if you regret claiming benefits early, and you happen to land a well-paying job not long after you begin taking benefits, you have the opportunity to undo your claim and allow your benefits to grow once more. 
4. You’re heavily indebted
More and more, debt is becoming a worry for senior citizens. In 2014, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau released data showing that the percentage of homeowners aged 65 and up that were carrying mortgage debt had climbed from 22% in 2001 to 30% as of 2011. For folks aged 75 and up, the percentage more than doubled to 21.2% in 2011 from 8.4% in 2001. 
Making matters worse, student loan debt is also impacting seniors. According to a Government Accountability Office report from December 2016, the number of student loan borrowers aged 65 and up had increased 385% since 2005. Meanwhile, the aggregate amount of student loan debt these older Americans are lugging around catapulted from $2 billion in 2005 to $22 billion, as of the report. 
The solution to this mess may very well be to claim Social Security benefits early in order to put that income to work by reducing debt. But keep in mind that this may not be a fix-all solution, especially since the retirement earnings test could come into play if you’re working and receiving benefits. This could result in some, or all, of your benefits being withheld until you reach your full retirement age.
5. You’re a lower-earning spouse
Another scenario where claiming early can make a lot of sense is if you’re married and your lifetime earnings are notably lower than that of your spouse. 
Ideally, you and your spouse are going to work out a plan to maximize what you’ll receive from the program over your lifetime. This plan will likely involve allowing the larger of the two incomes to grow as much as possible. Letting the larger payout accrue 8% per year is going to make a bigger difference down the line than if the smaller payout were allowed to grow over time. 
However, married retirees are still going to want some form of income. That’s where the lower-earning spouse comes into play. By claiming benefits early, the lower-earning spouse ensures that the couple is generating at least some income during retirement. 
Obviously this scenario depends on other factors, such as the size of the couple’s nest egg and their health. Nevertheless, it can be a smart way for a lower-earning spouse to contribute, while giving the higher-earning spouse the time to allow his or her benefit to grow. 
6. You’re confident in your ability to grow your money at greater than 8% per year
Claiming Social Security benefits early might also make sense if you believe that you can consistently outpace the 8% return you’d receive each year by holding off on your claim between ages 62 and 70. 
Why would someone believe they can top an 8% annual return with consistency? As an example, since hitting its Great Recession low in March 2009, the broad-based S&P 500 has risen 327%. That’s an annualized return through Aug. 19, 2018 of about 16.6% per year. If you’d taken your Social Security benefits and invested them into stocks since March 2009, there’s a pretty good chance you’d have beaten the 8% annual return you’d get with Social Security. 
However — and this is a very big “however”  the data I provided above involves some serious cherry-picking. Historically, the stock market has returned 7% per year, inclusive of dividend reinvestment and when adjusted for inflation. Since timing investments in the stock market can’t be done with any long-term consistency, the data would suggest that your chances of finding an investment (stock market related or not) that can top 8% annually on a regular basis are pretty slim. 
In other words, this is an option that very few people are going to find attractive or worthwhile. 
7. You worry about Congress’s ability to fix Social Security’s issues
Finally, taking Social Security early could make sense if you foresee trouble ahead for the program and have little faith in lawmakers’ ability to fix it. 
According to the newest annual report from the Social Security Board of Trustees, the program will begin burning through its $2.9 trillion in asset reserves this year. Though this net cash outflow will start off very small  $1.7 billion in 2018 and $0.2 billion in 2019  it’s expected to balloon to $169 billion in 2027. By 2034, the Trustees believe that Social Security’s $2.9 trillion in excess cash will be completely depleted. 
Now, before you panic, Social Security will continue to pay eligible beneficiaries, even without any extra cash in its coffers. Its payroll tax and the taxation of benefits will ensure that happens. 
But the Trust’s net cash outflow is an indication that the current payout schedule isn’t sustainable. The Trustees estimate the need for an across-the-board cut to benefits of up to 21% by 2034. Put in another context, claiming benefits early, even at a reduced rate, may allow you to generate more in lifetime income than if you waited a few years for a higher monthly payout, but were eventually hit with a 21% reduction in benefits. 
Admittedly, though, it’s impossible to predict how long it’ll take Congress to act, or what lawmakers on Capitol Hill will eventually do to amend the program. That makes an early claim based on Social Security’s long-term issues a bit of a gamble.


getting_over_breakupHere’s some truth about breakups: Every single one of them totally, completely, utterly sucks. Even if your partner was no bueno, even if you were the one who ended things, even if it was an amicable split, a breakup can sometimes leave you facing a serious identity loss. 
But, hi, grieving the death of a relationship is totally a real thing-and no one expects you to bounce back overnight. So what is the appropriate amount of time it takes to get over a split? Well, depends a lot on who you’re asking. 
1. Screw the timeline
Whether you were the dumper or the dumpee, there are no rules. In other words, there’s no designated time frame for getting over a breakup. Putting a timeline on your breakup can slow down your healing process.“The best way to speed things along is to just let ourselves feel what we feel as fully as we can
2. Feel at your own pace
Eventually, you’ll have mourned your loss well enough to either channel your best Rihanna and embrace single life for a bit, or start dating new people. And truth be told, there’s really no exact amount of time for this. But, if you are comparing potential partners based on how much they are or are not like your ex, you’re still healing “You’ve moved on when you can get to know someone on their own terms versus as a comparison,” 
3. Date for love, not fear
Still on the fence about whether you’re ready to start swiping again? Ask yourself if your actions are being lead by love or fear. “If you’re dating because you’re afraid to be alone, desperate to stop hurting, or certain that nobody will ever find you attractive again, those are fears,” I say “Being lead by love means trusting that you have a lot to give, and being excited about the possibilities of a new partnership.”
4. Learn from the relationship
Love stories (and breakups) are far from one-dimensional-there are bad times, good times, things you loved about the relationship, and issues that were maybe too big to overcome. Before you can fully move on, figure out how the story of this relationship fits into the larger story of your life. Know that every relationship is a lesson learned, so decide what you want to take away from this one and into your next partnership. 
Write yourself a letter about why things ended-which, will come in extra handy if you find yourself temped to hook up with your ex down the road (which is generally a recipe for more pain and confusion).
5. Get under someone to get over someone (but only if you want to)
And only if you won’t experience an emotional hangover post-sex (like, if you’re fine and willing to accept the sex for what it is: rebound sex). 
Know that a one-night-stand likely won’t lead to something long-term, but the age-old saying actually does have some truth to it if you’re emotionally prepared for the effects. “Love is a delicious cocktail of neurohormones, so you actually go through a kind of drug withdrawal after a breakup. As long as you understand it’s a rebound and a replacement drug, don’t be judgmental of yourself for moving on “too soon.”
6. Give yourself a clean break
We’ve all been there. We know it’s very tempting to stalk an ex on Instagram or text them after a second glass of wine, but it will only reignite old feelings and drag out your pain. You lost a piece of yourself and your brain has to heal in order for you to move on. So block them on social media, delete them from your phone, and find a new coffee shop. A proper separation means setting healthy boundaries for yourself and completely cutting your ex out of your life-both online and IRL. The sooner you cut out your ex, the faster you can move on. 
7. Self-care is key
In the meantime, as your feelings shift from cynicism into exciting possibility, surround yourself with good people who love you for you and remind you how lovable you are. So plan brunch with your sister, have a girls’ night in with your besties, or cuddle your dog. Don’t let yourself be defined by the breakup; instead, see this as the perfect time to refuel your passions for cooking and horse-back riding that fell to the wayside.
And don’t forget about doin’ you: Eat well, sleep well, hit the gym, and schedule regular massages (for the touch and dopamine boost). Promise: you’ll be back to feeling like your old, amazing self-and reclaiming your belief in love-in no time.

The blog is going in some new directions

Posted: December 28, 2016 in General, Opinions
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I have to wonder if the new direction the blog is taking has any real effect, I have many interest, opinions and plenty of sarcasm to go around. I thought adding food recipes that I like would show a better side of me than some ranging psychotic bitch all the time, and for the most part I have picked up some new followers and in turn I found I enjoy their blogs as well. The big but! here is are they simply liking this just to add new followers to their own blog and in a sense I guess all this blogging does in many ways have to use the chain reaction effect to gather followers including myself.

The big difference with me is this is just a personal blog, I’m not a professional any more but just a bored out of my mind person who just loves to blog even when no one is reading it. This blog is and always will be a mix of any and every thing that is in my brain.

Thank you foodie’s who have followed me for the recipes I post they are all ones that I would cook and recommend myself (I have a fascination with Pasty’s in case you haven’t noticed) and none of the recipes are of my own creation and will always give the credit where credit is due. Thank you followers who like my ranting, raging, and sarcastic opinions your my favorite  Punk

Cheesy home decor

Posted: December 26, 2016 in Opinions
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I’m just saying! my list of some things I think are cheesy, but there are those who like this kind of stuff, you know who you are Just kidding

steletto_table french_maid_2
romance_tale sumo_end_table
This is my #1 pick for the cheesiest

For those who like cheesy stuff find these and more at Wayfair

Opinions and Bitterness

Posted: November 21, 2016 in Opinions, Pissed off, Ranting, Sarcasm

pissoff

November podcast is done Click here to listen

Verizon wireless has screwed up big time and this crap came back to haunt me since October 20, 2016

verizonbill

As you listen to the podcast you can see by this photo what I was most angry about, adding phones lines without my knowledge then trying to charge me for disconnecting them.

 

You may have to click the thumbnail to view full size photo